A State of Disarray

Those who know me are familiar with my never-ending attempts to achieve total organization in my house. For the record, I've never even come close! But I continue to dream about the day it finally happens. Whenever I organize one small piece (say, a closet), I get a little thrill every time I see it in all its ordered glory. I am cursed with craving organization and order while lacking the energy and motivation to actually get there.

I've read articles about people who embrace their disorder and clutter. They rationalize it by saying they'd rather play with their kids than do the dishes, read a story instead of vacuum, etc. And I get it. When my kids are both napping, I would rather nap myself or read a book over doing any kind of housework. Which is, in fact, exactly what I do... which is why my house never looks the way I would like it to. Still, I can't embrace the mess. Here's why. I have friends who have kids (same ages as mine) and their houses are always tidy and clean. And they play with their kids. They do crafts, go to the park, read stories. They make baby food and prepare lunches and dinners that are magazine worthy.

If I compared myself to them (and I do, because I wish I could be as "together" as they are) I would feel inadequate. I don't want a perfect house. I just want a tidy house. I want someone to come over unannounced and not have to "explain" the mess. I want to invite someone over for tea and not run around trying to make the main floor presentable while hoping they don't have to go upstairs for any reason. Is that too much to ask?

As I write this my dishwasher is waiting to be emptied and my dirty breakfast dishes are cluttering up the counter. Jacob is in bed, so it's the perfect time to tidy the kitchen (he likes to "help" by climbing into the dishwasher or taking out the dirty dishes as you put them in). Yet, I feel absolutely no incentive to get in there and actually do it. I hate how messy the kitchen looks right now, I know how much I love looking having clear counters, it's just the in-between part that appears to be my stumbling block.

I need to strengthen my resolve and take action! I must seize the moment while Jacob sleeps (because it really might only be a moment or two) and tackle the kitchen! I am counting on all of these exclamation points to inspire me... and so, fresh from typing them, I am off create one small area of order within the larger state of disarray.