Public Bathroom Etiquette

Warning: this post contains explicit references to bodily functions.

The other night we went out to dinner as a family. As per usual, Hannah needed to use the bathroom (she likes to check out public bathrooms). This one happened to be pretty full and as soon as she sat down I began to cringe for the sake of the other occupants. Within seconds, Hannah announced she had to poo; then, she began grunting with theatrical force. Gripping the wheel-chair accessible bar located beside the toilet, she informed the room at large, "If I hold this bar, I can push even harder." More grunting. I tried politely to convince her to keep it down, but she didn't understand my implied rationale. Instead, she continued with her commentary by stating, "Now, I just have to shake until a piece falls out."

Enjoy your meals, everyone!

After returning to our table, Jacob wanted to use the bathroom and as he's only just started using a bathroom at all, I was happy to oblige. So, I returned to the scene of the original crime and comforted myself with the fact that it was now full of different people. Hopefully those people didn't mind his commentary... as it was about them. "I can hear someone peeing, mom! Who's peeing? Do you hear that? I can hear it splashing. Why are they peeing, mom?"

Public Bathroom Etiquette: it should be standard in those potty-training books.